My Confirmation!!!

Today I was(finally) confirmed in the Church. My Mother, Betty, showed up and my cousin Mark acted as my sponsor. I decided to have it done at St. Margaret Mary's daily morning Mass partly because I prefer the crowd(about 50 devout regulars) and the service is more respectful(social activity takes place after and not before or during Mass) then what one finds on the weekend.

Besides the gift of the Holy Spirit that is given as part of the sacrament, I received a few other cool things as well. Before Mass started, Mark gave me a very nice rosary that belonged to our Grandmother. It's has one of those crucifixes that opens up and contains tiny Saint Relics...Peter, Rosae, Catherine, Dominic and Benedict. Very Cool! After Mass, as people were coming up to congratulate me, one gentleman gave me his gold cross pendant. I didn't see that one coming! The funny thing is, I've been thinking about and looking for one anyway. God Bless him!!

But that coolest thing was not a thing. It was in fact another form of confirmation, of the verbal sort. During any given Morning Mass there is always this one guy(one of the eucharistmic ministers) who, when its time to ask for special prayers, asks for," an increase for vocations to the priesthood". Today was not only his turn to do the readings, but I found myself in his line to receive the Blood of Christ. This in its self is not out of the norm, but what he said after Mass, as he was congratulating me, definitely was. I thought maybe it's because I'm one of, if not the, first to show up in the Morning. I tend to pop up about 40 to 30 minutes before Mass so I can pray and meditate. But as he shook my hand, he told me that he thought there was a definite Holiness about me. That floored me. I should have told him I thought the same of him(cause I do), but I just thanked him and said," I try, I try". Of course he said,"that's all we can do". How can one be humble when you get a complement like that? I don't know, but I'm going to "try".

(I almost forgot...I chose St. Augustine of Hippo as my patron saint, thus Augustine as my confirmation name. I'll type more about this later........ Pax)

Merton's Prayer

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

- Thomas Merton,
"Thoughts in Solitude"© Abbey of Gethsemani

As I contemplate my vocation, I find myself going back, more and more, to this prayer. I even have it taped to my monitor for quick reference. Really. Although I have a more personal vocational prayer(I'll get to posting that soon) that I pray once or twice a day, the words of Fr. Louis inspire me to keep my eyes on Christ and let my doubts die as they may.

It's about letting go and letting the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit work on you. It's about surrendering your will to Christ, trusting in His plan and living for "God alone". It's a about being open to God's call in our lives, as St. Benedict states at the beginning of his Rule,"Listen, O my son, to the precepts of thy master, and incline the ear of thy heart, and cheerfully receive and faithfully execute the admonitions of thy loving Father, that by the toil of obedience thou mayest return to Him from whom by the sloth of disobedience thou hast gone away."

No matter where this path may take me as, a parish priest, a cloistered monk, or a devout member of the laity, my life is in His Hands and I shall follow where He leads. In the end, it all comes down to having the faith to trust that only through surrendering to His love and will, can we truly live. Anything else is an illusion and a lie propagated by the enemy.

Whispers of Peace

To live
Every moment,
Each little now,
An eternity of praise
And endless love
In the Father,
Son,
And Holy Spirit.

To live,
Every minute,
Each Holy day,
In hours of joyful praise
And endless song
To the Father,
Son,
And Holy Spirit.

To live
Silent, watching
In the Garden,
Existing just to praise
The endless Truth
Of the Father,
Son,
And Holy Spirit.

To live
Contemplating,
And studying,
Learning how to praise,
Meditating
On the Father,
Son,
And Holy Spirit.

To live life
As a prayer,
As praise,
Both now
And forever,
To the God that is,
That was
And is to come,
What more could anyone desire,
Then to live on this earth
As we shall live in heaven,
At the end of the ages...

Time in the Garden...(and now back to blogging)

I just got back from Gethsemani. What a truly wonderful place, really. If you want to learn to love, and begin to understand, the Psalms, sing them for a week with the monks down in Nelson County.

I'll type more about this when my back stops trying to kill me and I can think a little better.

B16 on Holiness

To be holy does not mean being superior to others; the saint can be very weak, with many mistakes in his life. Holiness is this profound contact with God, becoming a friend of God: it is letting the Other work, the Only One who can really make the world both good and happy.

Cardinal Ratzinger

The Presence

How do I began to explain my joy in feeling the Divine Presence moving and acting in my life? How can one describe how this feels?

At times I can sense It stronger and at other times less so. It waxes and wanes like some cosmic tide. When my mind is focused, empty of temptation and negative thoughts, I can feel Its guiding Grace. It is there during prayer and naturally strongest after receiving the Eucharist.

I have always felt it when I'm in a creative mode (like right now!) or when viewing art. Some would say this is "only" what is described as the aesthetic emotion. In art class I would hold back explaining how my creative process worked. I would though, tell them that the same feeling I have when viewing art work is the same as when I am creating. They still thought I was a bit nuts.(lol) How could I dare tell them that this gift, this talent for creating had origins in the Divine? How could I tell them that I was, for lack of a better word, channeling the Holy Spirit? Is this what happens when one "lets go and lets God"? I have always thought this may be true and now I'm fairly certain of it.

We are created by God, in His image, so it's only natural that the need to create be apart of what we are. No other animal on this planet produces art for its own sake. No creature, other then ourselves, can appreciate beauty. Is this all just apart of higher brain function? I think not...

Homecoming...

As a child I return to the Christ.

My life to this point,
Has ended,
Today I enter into my new life,
A life of Love,
And service to the Divine,
A new beginning,
Reincarnated in Spirit,
And in Mind,
I set out to seek the Way of Christ,
To follow that path that leads to salvation,
Not just for myself,
Yet for all I may encounter along the Way.

Not just with words,
For words are not enough,
For no one listens any more,
So rapped up in the circuses of our age,
So trapped in the race for capital,
So lost in desires of the flesh,
They are deaf to the Word.

With silent actions,
Movements of Grace,
In these ways,
I shall make my mark upon them,
Over time they may see,
The light of true reality,
And come unto God,
As He wants them to be.

I was a man,
Removed from my spiritual home,
Deep in my misery,
In a pit of my own creation,
But through the Love of Christ,
As a child,

I return...